The False Struggle of Hair

Pre-Cancer Hair

I have always been a girly-girl. Dresses, dance class, Barbies and (eventually) make-up were my hobbies and my entertainment of choice since I can remember. One of my middle school yearbooks put a saying next to each student's name of something they either did or said, throughout the year and my quote was, "I don't care what you guys are doing, I'm dressing up". I love a special occasion, and I spent countless, endless, early morning hours on drying and curling my hair.

So, this past year isn't a story of someone who never really cared about their look, more specifically, their hair. I loved having long hair that I could curl and style and have a fancy up-do done whenever possible. The idea of losing hair was devastating. I thought cutting my hair to the chin was a bold move - and then I only did it when much of my hair fell out naturally after pregnancy. And I looked back on those short-hair photos and wonder what I was thinking - then let it grow out until I had another baby. I made people wait to attend weddings and formals, holding up dinner plans and showing up late to my own hosted dinner parties because I had to get my hair right. I can only imagine how many hours of my life I wasted on this now-ridiculous ritual.

Fresh from surgery hair

And then I had brain surgery. Looking back now, I remember a few discussions about hair: "Should I shave it myself before surgery?" (answer: No. Let the surgeon cut what he needs and then decide what to do later), "Will I lose my hair during chemo?" (answer: No, but radiation is another story), but I can honestly say that after my diagnosis, the idea of how my hair looks fell to the very bottom of my priority list. 

My surgeon shaved exactly half of my head. And I enjoyed joking about how I was the hippest housewife out there, or how I could get a job at Hot Topic or Anthropology just because I looked trendy. And some of the most awkward conversations I had were people telling me how "brave you are to cut your hair so short!" and "what on Earth made you cut it all off?!" and many complimenting how the short hair fits me, "how did you have the courage to go so dramatically short?". All of these comments are nice and well-meaning, but what I want to say in response (and normally I don't, but sometimes I'm feeling feisty) is that the bravery isn't in the hair. The bravery was the 14 hour awake craniotomy that I went through. The bravery is in waking up and staying positive and sending my kids to school without wallowing in self-pity. The real courage is continuing life, even though it's scary to think what the future might bring. 

Which is why I write about my hair. It has taken many forms and many colors since I was forced to change my perspective. 

A couple weeks from surgery, when our baby needed ear surgery

Mothers Day brunch with my big guy

Radiation is what really did a number on my hair. I wasn't expecting it, but those laser beams zapped patches of hair right out of my head. Not all at once, just slowly enough that I looked up one day and saw that I had large completely bald spots all along my hair midline. 

I figure, why swim upstream? Just shave it off!

Then I decide to dye it.

First grocery store pink.

Then purple

Then short and blond. Very, very blond.

And then purple again. 

And I keep changing, and coloring and growing and cutting this feature that has become a marker of time, a topic of conversation, and best of all - has transitioned to a fun expression of my own design. 

Alex Turns 6!

This kid.

The card is right, the best way to describe his personality is "AWESOMENESS!". He is excited and happy and smart and just plain awesome. He has undergone an enormous amount of growth; physically, mentally, emotionally in this 5 - 6 age year. He is now a kindergartener, a solid reader AND an incredible swimmer. We are so very proud. 

The child we know today is a far cry from the little boy who would tantrum when he couldn't get his point across. He still takes his own, sweet time when doing just about everything (he CANNOT be rushed into getting dressed, putting on shoes, eating or getting to the point of a story), though he has a unique and thoughtful way of describing the world that both amazes me and cracks me up. He still describes yesterday as "the day before this day" and a little piece of me hopes that he always does.

Texas had a pretty serious tropical storm (Imelda) roll through the week of Alex's birthday. We were fortunate in that we had no flooding and the kids' schools came through pretty close to damage-free. We were extra lucky that his birthday party wasn't planned until the Sunday after his birthday, so our Houston-area friends were able to attend without any water issues. 

So the actual birthday DAY itself was spent indoors, with our family of five, eating his favorite spaghetti and meatballs dinner followed by cupcakes with a side of presents. 

In a weekend of "favorites", Alex had a birthday party at his favorite place to go: Little Beakers. I have to admit, this is also one of my favorite places to take kids (ages > 4). It is a science lab geared for hands-on experiments and learning. It is rarely crowded, you pay per hour for open lab and birthday parties are prepared and led by a staff member. They pre-arrange your experiments and clean up after your kids (and you) are wowed. I am not much for making a mess at our house... so this is ideal.

We got there early to set up, so Gretchen and Alex spent some time assembling molecules. Look at the cute coats! And the goggles! And the counter height that is perfect for children!

This birthday party was a great mix of long-time friends that we are thrilled to live close to, best buddies from preschool AND some new faces from kindergarten. The kids were at a perfect age to be amazed at the acidic reactions, create take-home fake snow and glow slime (though the slime NEVER comes inside the house. We've been burned before...) and the birthday boy got a special grand finale.

This picture shows what happens when you mix Mentos and diet soda, and Alex pulled the trigger on the Mentos drop. He was all smiles, which is the point at a birthday party!

For our middle child who has kept his sensitive side while maturing into a big-kid, Happy 6th Birthday!! Keep loving science and swimming and reading and Bey Blades, you are such a terrific kid!

East Coast Summer Tour 2019

We were ambitious, we were brave, we almost abandoned a stroller on the platform, but while in Virginia we took the Amtrak train up north to visit friends in Philadelphia. What a fantastic way to travel! Admittedly, it's easier when you don't have a stroller, and when you don't have full sized luggage to tote along with three children, but it was fast and fun and so much easier than flying! I hadn't quite thought through how we were going to find seats together AND I was going to get our luggage on the train AND I was going to fold up the stroller and carry it up the steps while leaving all three kids in Gretchen's 8-year old hands while I made multiple trips. But we did it, and some kind commuters had mercy on me so we didn't need to all sit apart from each other in four separate middle seats.

The sheer fact that we were on a train was a portion of the trip's entertainment for the kids. The Nintendo DS helped too. 

Thankfully, once we arrived at the train station, my fantastic friend Jenn was there waiting for us, ready to help unload our many things. Additionally, our children love each other so the weekend was full of constant entertainment. 

Philadelphia is full of interesting things to do. I wish I could say that we ran the Rocky steps, toured Independence Hall and took a picture in front of the Liberty Bell. Perhaps when our kids are a little older, for now, we visited the Please Touch Children's Museum and I wouldn't take it back. There was a whole station where you could wash your hands, then go to a blow drier to dry them off. Graham was obsessed. His hands have never been so clean or so dry. His shirt, however, was drenched. 

And I got to ride a Dodo.

We had the chance to meet up with college friends, the Mayes family! They live in the Philly area and were willing to weather the incredible rainstorm to drive and meet us at this fantastic spot, The Creamery of Kennett Square. It would best be enjoyed on a lovely sunny day, but our crew of kids spent the entire time eating and creating the Zelda Tri-Force out of a life-sized peg board on the wall. What a fun treat to have so many favorite people under the same roof.

Through a few families that live in the greater Philadelphia area, we had heard about this utopia called Longwood Gardens. This was another kid-friendly spot that didn't disappoint! The gardens are incredible, however that is not usually enough to keep kids occupied. Never fear, the entrance offers tiered hedges to hide and seek in, a huge rolling hill for dizzy delights and a scavenger hunt that kept everyone happy and occupied. 

In case that's not enough, everyone brought a Pokemon toy to play with.

All important decisions between 8&9 year olds happen over ice cream.

The crowning jewel of the trip (for me) was this unreal dinner spot that Mike and Jenn brought me to in celebration of my 38th birthday. The food was divine, the bubbles flowed, the sun set and the Phillies won - so the night included a fireworks show over the cityscape of Philadelphia. I couldn't have planned anything better. 

Four Amtrak tickets later, we're back in DC! For another kind of train ride, the DC Metro! What used to be my daily commute is now a fun excursion for kids and Grammy's alike. DC is a magical place at almost every turn. There are monuments and history and memories around every corner. Just take a look at what a beautiful day we had to explore the city!

Gretchen, Alex and Grammy at the Washington Monument. Can you spot the line where construction was stopped for 23 years when the US ran out of money for the project and fought the Civil War? 

We visited the World War II monument, my first time there. Everything is symbolic. It is a long awaited sight to be seen.

We went way back in history at the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History. Dinosaurs and birds and gems, oh my! We have a special behind the scenes friend that was able to meet us for lunch, and explain some of what goes on in the non-accessible portion of the museum.

The monument that the kids wanted to see most was the Lincoln Memorial. Who wouldn't! It's impressive! It's larger than life! There are a gazillion steps leading up to it! It took us a few minutes to line up this selfie without background tourists in our shot, but we got the big man included, so that's what matters. 

 To round out the whole trip, we got to see another family friend, this time the Welsh family. Alex and Jon have been friends since elementary school and we were excited to re-introduce the next generation of friends. Kids meeting our friends kids has been such a great part of being back in the US. Thank you to everyone who hosted us and took time out of a busy summer to meet up with us. Back to the Houston heat!

Vancouver Vacay June 2019

There is a constant running list of places that Jon and I would like to travel. After being grounded for a year we were due an anniversary trip, and while it didn't feel like it was the right time for Italy, we have been thinking of cities in the Pacific Northwest for awhile. Vancouver became our 11th anniversary destination.  

Vancouver has been on this list for awhile because it has so much to offer. Mountains, cityscape, water, and while it is an international trip - it's as easy of a border crossing as you can get from the US. 

With the help of Gran and Poppa, we had a lovely waterview room where we could watch the sea plans take off and land all day long. I had no interest in riding in one of these teeny planes, but watching them was lots of fun. They were constant, one taking off or landing every 15 minutes. 

To take advantage of the lovely weather, and the fact that we didn't have anyone with training wheels, we rented bikes from Spokes to sightsee around Stanley Park. We took the seawall route and cut through the island instead of completing the entire island perimeter. There were so many interesting things to see! 

First of which, my biking partner. I'm a lucky lady to be married to this fellow for 11 years! And he continues to indulge me when I want to do silly things like...

At the entrance to the seawall route are these incredible totem poles, the ones pictured below are a part of the Children of the World grouping. Colorful, interesting, the more you inspect them, the more little surprises you can find. 

Watch seagulls on the beach! Not just any seagulls, these are EATING STARFISH! I watched bird after bird pick at and try to choke down these pointy, tough-skinned sea creatures. 

This determined bird attempted to swallow, gagged up and choked down the same starfish several times. The starfish has no defenses except his shape! The bird flew away, this tough sucker is safe for another day.

After having the worst year of our lives, this trip also felt like a retrospective of all of the strength and determination that it took to get through a trip to the ER, a serious diagnosis, surgery, radiation, chemotherapy. And just when I thought we won the determination prize for the year, our trip around Stanley Park shows us this. This tree. Who told it to grow there? Some seed embedded itself on a rock and decided to grow into a nice, leafy tree. No soil, just rock. Good on you tree, you've got a prime spot overlooking the water now.

And this pretty little flower, just growing on the side of a cliff. Not worried that there are no flower buddies around it, just standing on its own, reaching toward the sun, bringing a bright white bloom to the cold grey stone. It was a great bike ride indeed.

We also visited the Bloedel Conservatory, which was a picture-taking wonderland for this bird lover. The conservatory is built into Queen Elizabeth Park's Little Mountain, everywhere surrounding the conservatory dome is overlooking Queen Elizabeth Park.

It took me a long time to sort through my hundreds of photos of birds during this visit. Jon and I checked each bird type off of the scavenger hunt list given to us at the front (possibly intended for children). Here are a few of the brightest highlights. 

We had lunch at the Original Tap and Barrel which sits directly next to the Vancouver Olympic Torch. Took morning runs through the city and around the cruise ship terminal. Jon's cousins recommended their favorite restaurant, Bishops, for a special dinner and sent a lovely bottle of wine to the table. We took a tiny tugboat ferry to Granville Island and enjoyed the beauty of being on vacation. Vancouver was just the relaxing, friendly, outdoor location that we were looking for in a perfect anniversary trip.